LEARNING ABOUT MY BIPOLAR
In my late teens, I began to notice that something was different. I couldn’t quite put a finger on it
though. For example, when I was a first-year student in a university, after reading the news
online, I would begin to think that the news was talking about me. That somehow, this was all
related to different events in my life. For instance, when I was in the middle of depression, the
news would be threatening. When I was in mania, the news was suggesting that I was a famous
person!
As I became more and more ill, I stopped listening to and reading the news. I told myself that
there wasn’t anything wrong and that I was simply getting “upset.”
Fast forward a few years later and I would learn that this is called “ideas of reference.” This is a
feature of psychosis. Psychosis is also common in folks who experience bipolar.
The Journey To Acceptance After Being Diagnosed
After being diagnosed with bipolar, I began my long and slow journey to acceptance of the
condition. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), an organization based in
the United States, oftentimes this long and slow journey is seen by others as a form of “denial.”
But labelling an individual’s journey to accepting their condition as a form of “denial” is very
problematic in numerous ways. That’s because the person with the condition might:
● Lack awareness of their condition. With mental health conditions like bipolar, it’s
sometimes hard for the person with the condition to have insight. It may sometimes take
the person months or years to be aware of something being “off.”
● Have to learn to identify triggers and healthy coping mechanisms. The journey to
self-awareness doesn’t just mean accepting the condition, but also recognizing triggers.
For example, different people with bipolar may find certain situations and individuals
trigger. In addition to recognizing triggers, individuals with bipolar also learn to find
healthy ways of coping.
Acceptance of the diagnosis is important because bipolar is no longer seen as “the invisible
enemy.” Instead, it’s just one aspect of your life. It doesn’t define you.
Finding The Beauty of Bipolar
A healthy way of accepting bipolar is to find the beauty in it. You might be thinking “how do I find
the beauty of bipolar when it’s impacted me, my relationships, my goals, and my life?”
The answer is, as the Holocaust Survivor and psychiatrist Vikor Frankhl writes in Man’s Search
For Meaning, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change
ourselves.”
You can’t change having bipolar, but you can change how you view and react to it. As I
mentioned earlier in this article, bipolar did shape my experiences. However, it never defines
me.
